Riddle Me This

I often hear (or read) in first-contact-messages from fellows that "it's always hard figuring out what to say when you message someone first," and I'll admit, I've gotten stuck a few times too. So it's important to pay attention to how people message you and how you feel when you read it to better gauge which approaches come across best.

Well here's a creative approach that I had never considered before. Tell a joke. I proabably wont put it into practice but I find it humorous nonetheless. In fact, I actually really love it when I receive a message from someone that in its entirety is just a riddle question or a good joke. I think it's a very clever approach because if I can't figure out the riddle, I'll totally ponder whether I want to message them back to tell me the answer.

When I began writing this post and putting together the screen shots around Mid-October, I didn't feel that I had enough content. So I started a little experiment. I have nothing incredibly direct on my PoF profile that says what I like or want in a man (hm...that could be my problem?) so I decided, for the sake of this upcoming post, lets try an experiment. So I put in my profile on the last line, just this simple sentence: "Also, I really like jokes and riddles." And the response was.... Therefore, I will divi up this post into the before and after experiment so that you can see how many men thought this approach would work on their own and how many tried this tactic after my ploy.

Part 1: Before The Bait

Early October, I showed this riddle in particular to my friend, Chelsea, and it was so funny how she absolutely refused to close out of the app untl she figured it out. Finally, she settled for Googling it. But I couldn't help but think that this guy seriously almost warranted a response from us that day. In fact, I think that tactic would work on a lot of girls.

Can you figure it out?

I'll give the guy props for originality as he was one of the first to send me a riddle. He also gets a 7/10 points for choosing a rather interesting riddle.

This next guy, Yuri, is one of my favorites. He hasn't written me in a while (probably because I've never responded--maybe I should let him know how much I enjoy his jokes). Now, I fear it may be the end of Yuri Story Time, so instead I'll just relive them by sharing them with you.

Funny & Insightful.

Yuri definitely gets a 10/10 for effort and for having a sense of variety in his joke-telling.
Then there are a few bad joke tellers and I wonder, why decide to use the tactic of joke if it's not going to be a good one? How strange...but maybe that's why you're single. : /

This definitely receives a 0 (on a 1-10 scale...that's pretty bad!) Better luck next time, sir. Maybe buy a joke book before you send a message.

Part 2: After The Bait

A couple of gentlemen have been awarded an automatic 3 points for reading my whole profile and noticing the line where I said I like jokes and riddles. Here is what they came up with:

Thankfully, I was in the car with my cousin Emrie when I received this one and she knew the answer right away (she's the brain in the family). The answer is: a towel. Total score: 8

These were actually pretty cute. Plus he put in the effort to offer multiple. See ladies, ask and you shall receive. Well, maybe this isn't the strongest case for that argument in what to do in a relationship. But nonetheless, total score: 7 (because he didn't have an actual message with his riddles.)

I had to Google the answer and I don't get it. It's: a kiss. Total score: 5

I don't particularly like Blonde Jokes, maybe because I very often am a blonde so I feel like you should judge your audience. Plus this was just a bad joke in general. Total score: 4

What did you think of their riddles? Do you have any better ones?

Real or Fake?

Ok, so I'm on Facebook and I'm just about to close out of the window when I saw this ad along the side banner. I am absolutely positive that this guy is on PlentyOfFish.com, which leads me to wonder if FB reps just decided that he has the face of a poster boy? Or is he really just that for both sites: a poster boy?

Conspiracy, I tell you.

Also, continuing the theme of "real or fake," but on a complete side note: I have pretty consistent numbers showing readers in countries like Russia, Germany, France, and a few others. I only know one person in Germany, but not Russia or France. So I'm curious, how did you stumble upon this site? Are you actually real people?? lol The most recent additions are China and Denmark! Welcome!

If you're from another country and you read this, please post a comment below with your first name and tell me how you found PlentyToDish. Thanks!

Do I Know You?--

--No, you've just been stalking my PoF profile long enough to recognize me in public. Scary, creeper man...

No, but really, this kind of actually happened. I was hanging out with my friend, Amanda, and we went to Walmart to get a few snacks for our movie night. By the time we were back at my apartment settling in to push Play, I received a message from a guy on PoF asking if I'd just been at Walmart, as he thought he saw me down the adult beverage aisle. As I glanced over at my newly opened bottle of wine, this is the face I made -->  :0  Yes, a panic-stricken ghost face.

While I'm sure the guy meant no harm, I don't think he realized how creepy that seemed. Plus, as I understand it, online dating is supposed to broaden your spectrum of people you may not otherwise run into. But if you actually run into a woman that you find attractive...why would you email them? Here's an alternative, TALK TO THEM IN PERSON. Just saying...

Due to the awkward circumstances, I didn't reply back to him.

However, I apparently have a twin out there...I'm really bummed that I don't have the screen shot any more but I was messaged a month or so ago asking if I worked at a specific Subway location? My suggestion to you, sir, is before you ask such a presumputious question, maybe you should check out my Occupation Info to confirm or deny your suspicsions. Mine reads: "Marketing Manager"...now would the MM of Subway be making you a sandwich? I think not.

On to the next sighting of my potentially evil twin...

Geez...imagine his conversing skills if he had tried to talk to "me" Friday night after a few beers?

And no, for those of you who are wondering, I wouldn't be caught dead in Vintage...Any more. Don't judge me... We all had our college days.

Now that mistake I don't mind!

Speaking of running into people you don't actually know, what about the probability of virtually running into someone you DO know? Oh, it's happened. -- I mean, it happened to a friend of mine.

Most Awkward Run-Ins

Actual Scenario #1: You meet someone from the site and begin casually dating. After date three, he deletes his profile. Soon after, you end things when you realize he’s really not that into you as a person, just your physicality. A month later, you click on a “new” person’s profile that looks interesting and turns out he has made a new one! ...well, Hey there Blitz**!  ;) (Damn, now I’ve been unjustifiably caught by the “Recently Viewed You” list! I didn’t mean to cross paths with you again, I swear.)

Actual Scenario #2: Stumbling upon the profile of your friend’s attractive older brother…eek! Obviously there is no harm in looking it over but anything further would have to depend on how close that friend is. In this case, this friend is really just an acquaintance so no permission is really needed. Plus, he just moved to Poland so really what can he do about it? :)

Actual Scenario #3: You know that guy you met ages ago because he's a friend of one of your good friends?(wait...what? exactly.) Well, you met him, instantly fell for his gorgeous smile, and then was introduced to his blonde skinny girlfriend. Awesome. But wait! Don't fret! You don't know it now but you will one day run into him on an online dating site. Win! He's obviously single. Now to message him: "Hey I don't know if you remember me..." Yeah, that conversation is not gonna happen.

Internet Ink

Tattoos are a very popular topic these days. Everyone seems to have at least one, even if it's hidden behind their ear or just a tiny phrase on their finger. It’s rarer these days to not have a tattoo in our generation. They’ve become widely accepted, even among many work places. However, that doesn’t necessarily stop you from staring at someone’s tattoo and just wondering WHY??

Whether it’s because you want to congratulate them or tell them to kill themselves and stop the risk of procreation, sometimes what people chose to put on their bodies is a little bit of a mind f***. 

I always find it interesting when any non-asian people get asian symbols permanently inked into them. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I just wonder how connected this guy felt to the Chinese culture prompting him to get this tattoo of the Yin & Yang- a representation of the celestial phenomenon that is the Sun and how its creates the four annual seasons. Then throw in a dragon and a tiger and you have a legitimate Defender of the Great Wall sitting before us. (Ok, now that was probably rude but I'm ok with it.)

I'm glad that this guy thought to leave an explanation for his tattoo in the description, but I still don't know what it means. Does anybody want to get truly philosophical and let me know what they come up with? K, thanks. I do have to admit though, the Bass Clef is a somewhat more masculine looking symbol than the Treble Clef.

All I see is a Tribal Clown. Anyone else? Did I just freak out half of you who have that clown phobia? My bad.



 

Is he trying to be Spiderman?

Work it, work it! Now growl for me!

These pictures aren't even really for the tattoos. I just think it's funny how he's posing in order to show them off. If that’s how you have to stand to show us your tattoos, buddy, then I would have reconsidered their placement.

Male Tramp Stamp

Can you imagine a girl's face when things are getting all steamy? She removes his pants and receives this kind of greeting…? “Hey Sexy Lady”...Also I love the way he is proudly sporting his tattoo, his dog tags and most significantly, his package for not just us, but his super close friend taking the picture on his camera phone.

For those who have trouble reading this, no worries. I read scribble really well. It says "Knowledge, Love, Respect" –three very valuable words in the English language. My only question isn’t so much as to why he chose these words, but rather, why are they so big??

I really don't have much to say about these next few tattoos but I think they're worth displaying anyways.


I'll gladly claim ignorance on this one.



There is so much happening on this Cowboy Canvas...



"If you want peace, prepare for war" in Latin

Be Careful, It's A Jungle Out There

I’ve been on PoF for a few months now and out of nowhere I began stumbling upon profile’s that included photos of the user with a wild animal of some sort. Is there a theme or a bulletin somewhere that I missed that says this is the cool thing to do? I don’t know but either way I thought I’d share these with you. Let’s start with a really ferocious one….

Just kidding. I just thought this was really funny. Hippo’s are actually a really dangerous animal. Although I don’t think we need to worry about this one.

Ok, so this one isn't ferocious either but it's not exactly the common domestic pup we’d find next to a stick-figure family on those car window stickers. Also, this is the same guy as in the picture with the fake hippo. Don't know what he's aiming to sell through these pictures but whatevs.



Here kitty, kitty. Op, big kitty!

I don't know what happened here. This wild baby  tiger became domesticated somehow. But I bet this guy feels really cool feeding a tiger in his sun glasses.

This looks more like he paid to take a picture with the tiger at the zoo and knelt down as close as possible while praying he doesn’t trip and fall on top of the animal. Or he's possibly taking advantage of the poor tiger, but before you call PETA, she seems ok with it.

I know it's blurry but that's the online photo world for you. And this picture is very random, but we all have a secret love of Bambi I guess.

 Now something has clearly gone terribly wrong. But don’t worry, all must have ended well. He lived to post the photo on his profile afterall. Good thing he was wearing nice running shoes.

Happy Fishing! But be careful. You never know what's lurking in the next profile. 

Legitimate Creepers Come With References

So I don’t know if this has been particularly obvious to you, as my readers, but I have a rule about this blog. I’d say, 99% of the people I mention or post about on here, I have NEVER contacted or replied to via message, chat, etc. Whereas, any gentleman that I’ve taken the time to hold a conversation with, get to know, or meet in person, has never been posted about on this site. In fact, a special few of those gentlemen now continue to be friends of mine and even share in this blog often as readers and sometimes even as contributing sources of information. :) And they seem to enjoy it, once I assured them that they themselves, or our dates, have not been included in its posts.

That other 1% came about recently when i decided there was something just too interesting to pass up. More commonly, a guy messaged me with something so awkward or so freakishly interesting, that I had to reply solely to see if they would man-up to their own claims And I’ll admit, I solely opened up that door of communication with your interest in mind. And boy, have I found some doosies. (Is that how you spell that word?)

I have shared the opening statements of these two gentleman before, and now I will unveil what has become an abundance of awesomeness and scary, scary creeper-like behavior.

Firstly, you all should meet MrAwesome**. I first introduced him to you on Sept. 10 in What Are You Hiding Behind That Profile? – which looking back, was precisely the right question to be asking.

It all began August 23, when I received a message so awkward, especially coming from what looked like a really normal profile, that I had to respond. I guess I was just curious to see how’d he explain himself and the way he chose to approach messaging me.

At first, he admitted that he was surprised that I’d responded at all. So I asked him, why would he message someone like that if he didn’t expect them to respond. He said he wants to see if the girl could have a sense of humor. I told him that a sense of humor is relative and that his came across rather creepy. Then he decided to prove my judgment accurate.

From that point on the conversation became intimate and more than suggestive in nature, but also random and illogical. Here’s the kicker though, I never messaged him again and yet I still receive a message every couple of weeks. It’s now October…Here is the majority of September for you.

We have officially reached CREEPER STATUS.

---

The second bundle of awesomeness I have this week is yet another previous visitor that I promised to scope out for further indulgence.

This is John. He offers references to young ladies such as myself to make himself appear to be a more eligible bachelor, despite being of an older age. Now he’s no senior citizen, but 43 is not typically in the range of girls in their early to mid 20s. All I had to do was say that references were an interesting approach to take and suddenly I received a list of friends AND exes! – Whom could “vouch” for him.

Well, believe it or not, I called each of his references on speaker phone while two friends sat beside me filming the whole ordeal. It was quite hilarious.

Most notable about these references was their age range. They were not all my age as he indicated in his inital message above. However, two of his exes were still a decent number of years younger than him, which makes sense if he wants to prove his eligibility for someone my age. However, what can a 16-year-old-boy that he’s known for a little over a year, really say in respect of his character?? In this particular case, not very much. In fact, the kid basically sold him out.

Ryan – “He (John) hits on any girl that moves.”

Even his two closest friends seemed to reveal crucial information, even in their best attempts to defend their buddy. Jessa and Derek happen to be riding in the car together when I called, making it easy to speak to them simultaneously. When I asked them if John could be described as a gentleman, they responded with: “He is in his own way." Apprently, he comes across as "rough" and "obnoxious” but really is "nice at heart." I believe we have a winner girls! ;)

Once I gather those videos from the girls...they will be all yours for the viewing. :)