Friday, August 31, 2012

Location Location Location

I discovered a new feature for PoF mobile. For those who don’t know, this is what the home screen looks like for PoF mobile.
Hello, Gentlemen...
The bottom row of pictures are random profiles of people within my region of which to select from.
Well this past weekend, I traveled to St. Louis to visit some family and was surprised to suddenly see my phone light up with messages from users that reside in Missouri. It seems that your profile pops up as a random option to select for others within your listed state of residency AND WHEREVER YOU'RE CURRENTLY LOCATED!
Way to lay out the PoF Welcome Mat! Well hello, Missouri!
This explains past mental question marks when I’ve clicked on random profiles while back at home and noticed that their listed state is definitely not within Arizona, much less the Phoenix Metropolitan area. Those people must have been visiting Arizona at the time I clicked on them! I don’t know if that’s absolutely genius, extremely creepy, or both! It definitely opens up your options to even more opportunities if you’re into random, really unlikely successful encounters.
I don’t know who would want to spend what little time they have in a city going on dates with strangers but think of benefits this could have?? Let’s get creative.
The Wedding Date: Say you’re headed out-of-state for a wedding, and you have yet to find someone to fill your Plus One guest invite. Once you get into town, see if any willing bachelors or nice ladies would accompany you as your date! It may be awkward as hell or it could be the greatest first date story ever! The key to this is you have to be completely straight up honest about the situation and carry a sort of nonchalance about it. Otherwise, you may come off creepy like you’re already planning your wedding to this new local friend. But what if you’re nervous and not sure if you can pull that kind of carefree demeanor off? Maybe sell it to them this way: Ever wanted to live out your own rendition of Wedding Crashers? You can be Luke Wilson and I’ll be Rachel McAdams!
This could also be pulled off for work functions that require you to travel. Bring a date, and then treat them for putting up with your boring boss or convention speaker by treating them to their favorite place in town! You get a little bit of the insider’s scoop of the city and someone to make fun of your coworkers with.
If you don’t want to look like the only one attending a function without a significant other, then fake it! While you’re there, you two can make up a whole story about how you met and your new friend can create a whole other life for them self! Does anyone else think this could be an incredibly amusing night?!
PoF, no matter where you travel to, it’s where you’ve always got a friend! Potentially, anyways. ; )
On a completely unrelated note, I have been saving a few pictures for a theme I've had lately. How many profiles can I find with pictures of man-children. Yes, you read that right. Man-children: males over the age of 18 that look like they're 12. Enjoy!
24!?!? What??


I think you need a smaller helmet...

A man-child with a child. Awkward...

This is ThugLife Manchild.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Dating Websites Aren't For Dating! Silly Face...

Some people have asked me why I haven’t started a profile on OkCupid, EHarmony or some of the other dating websites. Well, frankly it’s because I think it would be exhausting trying to cross reference all of the sites to make my conclusions. And while the journalist in me knows that would be the more appropriate course of action to give all of my curious readers a more accurate depiction of online dating, this is a generic account through blogspot.com, not a freaking CNN news report. Plus, I like having a life outside of my real job and this blog. Heartbreaking, I know.
So anyways….now onto this week’s topic! I’m going to tell you something that I was previously unaware of when I joined PoF and that I think you should know about. Are you ready? Ok. Online dating sites, are not just for finding someone to date…
Now, I know you’re all sitting there with giant question marks over your heads. But before some of you smart asses try and figure out my revelation details before I give them to you: No, I’m not referring to the lame excuse of, “well I just moved here and want to meet new people (so I’m going to only message hot people of the opposite gender).”
Apparently, it's also for asking someone for directions, finding an instructor of some sort, and to have philosophical discussions with strangers.
I briefly mentioned a reference to something along these lines back in May when AZMike asked me how to upload a photo off his phone for his PoF profile. My reaction to that message was very similar to that of a message I received the other day. Unfortunately, I accidently deleted it before I took a screen shot so I don’t even know their username, but this was the exact message: “How close is Mesa to Candler?” (yes, the misspelling is intentional)
Now, I presume this man was trying to figure out if we lived close to each other before attempting to begin dialogue in hopes of dating. However, it comes off quite lazy of him (and awkward for me)!
Oh and by the way, sir, my name is not Google maps. (Or your PoF tech support, AZMike!)
Just sayin.
Another fine example of the apparent use of online dating for goods & services, is hottaz** who messaged me in what started as a usual message. He began with complimenting my appearance, which most people would agree suggests his interest in dating me. But then this slippery fish changes the conversation dramatically when he tells me to feel free to check out his profile, NOT to see if I am mutually interested, but rather to see if I’m interested in what he's “offering.” Imagine the Question Mark on my forehead with that one! Turns out, the guy gives massages on the side of his real job and school work for extra money. So if you would like to begin publicizing your line of work without paying for web space, just create an online dating profile and message potential clients directly. It’s not creepy at all! D:  No, thanks buddy. I don’t need this site to get that kind of happy ending.
Now, before I call out this next gentleman for asking me, of all things--to be his dance instructor, I have to call him out on something else entirely. If this isn’t the best example I’ve seen thus far of a Profile Fail, I don’t know what is.

  1. Notice his username…. “new” vs. “knew”
  2. The grammar is this message is horrendous. I understand that typos happen (I’ve fallen victim to them myself) but this was a little difficult for me to bear.
  3. Where is the part where you offer me some form of payment for teaching you how to dance? Or more expectantly, the part where this could all happen on its own if we were to actually meet in person and formed an acquaintance of some kind?
And finally, I’d like to introduce you all to my profile frequenter, Artlosophy. He likes to message about twice a month to ask me various “what would you do in this scenario” questions. Observe: (most recent examples)
Is it rude that I don't want to participate? I mean, I didn't exactly sign up for philosophy.com or WWYouD.com.
On a completely unrelated note, I would just like to say thank you to everyone who is reading this blog. Those of you who are my friends on Facebook were aware of when the blog went international because I was so freaking stoked and had to post about it. Somehow, the word has spread to various countries, even beyond the countries where I have friends who have returned from studying abroad or some other such circumstance. FOR EXAMPLE: This is the screen shot of my stats page from how many viewers clicked in from just this past week! See how green the right side of the map is?!

Thank you, Mother Russia.



Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Why Are These Men Single??

Imagine you’re sitting on your couch, checking your online dating emails and you open one from someone you’ve never conversed with before. All it says is: “Let’s get together!”
I don’t know what you would do, but I immediately erupted into giggles while mentally singing, “yeah, yeah, yeah!”
These are the kind of things my brain does when I read ridiculous messages. Some might find it weird, but I think a good sense of humor is required to get through all of the crazies that come with cyber dating. A sense of humor and standards.
Sometimes, I’ll admit, I’m a little judgmental of the initial message (and someone’s profile). If you can’t type more than one sentence in your first attempt of contact, then what’s the point?? The worst ones are those that just say “hi.”

Grammar error. Enough said.

Can you imagine how long it would take to get to know each other if I responded with the same amount of “umph” that he did with each message?
But some people, *shakes head* some people really make that one sentence count.
Bdub***: “Yesss I want some of you”
What am I? A topping on your dessert?
Rob****: “Your face is gorgeous”
Thanks. I formed it myself.
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On the opposite side of the spectrum, another interesting factor to observe is how quickly people progress (and display) their feelings:

Well that was fast! And I didn't even have to lift a finger!

 You know what still amazes me? Well, I bet you can guess because I know this is now your favorite part of this blog. :) I can't ever go too long without finding a picture where I can’t help but stare and think, why would you post this???
Exhibit A: Seriously???

The best part about this photo however, is that you know that the girl behind him agrees with me! Maybe he’s hoping we wouldn’t notice her….but maybe he should have taken that as an indicator of what our reactions would be.

It's true. Egos are also affected by the old saying, "Everything's bigger in Texas!"

Exhibit B: I see that you’re trying to go for a close up picture to demonstrate your artistic side, but I think you forgot about something…Even if this is an old picture. Attention to details is kind of necessary in this situation.

Dating site...wedding ring....not a good combo.


Exhibit C: I….I….*sigh* I don’t know.
Who were you taking this for? Or do you just pose like this all the time?

Now for the next example, I just want to say that I am for the armed forces and supporting our men and women for their sacrifices. Also, I know that often their lifestyle and humor, etc. can be very different than ours…but either way, I don’t find this attractive or studly.

What made this somewhat ironic though is that after I viewed his profile, he decided to message me. His word choice was perfect…
“I’m really beaten up that I live a whole hour away from u lol” (he lives in Tucson)
I thought: not as beaten up as that cardboard cutout probably was, so I’m not too worried about it.
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To end this post, I'd just like to say that there was an almost, not really, but close celebrity sighting on the site. Does anyone else see the resemblance?

Scrubs Fans, come on...